Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
