Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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