I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
