So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
as a side note pls kill me
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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