just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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