Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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