had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
