Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
