Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
