Pappa wants mamma naked
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
