If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
