she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize