She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So much rum. So many feels.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Come on in and take your pants off
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