White coat. Heels.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
