She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
