Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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