I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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