So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
