Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
