My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize