possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
