I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
