Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
