i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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