And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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