you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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