He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A+ Viking dick
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
