so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
