If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
