Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
