If that was your dad, he is hot
It's Friday. Sex?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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