Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize