belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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