You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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