Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
