Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
