I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
