something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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