i need an iv and a liver transplant
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
