he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
