Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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