would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
