i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
