Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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