Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So much Jack, so little girl.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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