so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
