North Korea, Best Korea!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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