i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
