D3 body, D1 cock
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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