He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize