windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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