my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i out mim tonsoeep
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