I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize