U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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