Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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