Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
