what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
