I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
