There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
