When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
