Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Less talking, more tequila
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
