there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
