I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I need moral support for this bender
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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