i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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