it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
