she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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