Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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