you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Is it penis luge time yet?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
