Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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