Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
