NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
