I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
