areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
