I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
