apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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