dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
