Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
