I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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