i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
