The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
